Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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