A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
