I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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