I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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