I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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