I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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