I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
