First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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