The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
