Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
