speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
