How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
