Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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