Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
