my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize