I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
