thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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