Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
