Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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