now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
