I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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