Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
