My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
