so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
