He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
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I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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