yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
