I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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