mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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