Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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