billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
