Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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