Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
