why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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