Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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