i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
