My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
