dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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