Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1660) Bad night (2995)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

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  (857): Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7' http://tfl.nu/hrls
  Replies (63) Good night (1227) Bad night (5318)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.

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  (203): they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures. http://tfl.nu/t4cj
  Replies (3) Good night (4322) Bad night (648)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you

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  (203): we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint (203): i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you http://tfl.nu/509n
  Replies (10) Good night (5352) Bad night (1241)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen

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  (570): throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen http://tfl.nu/quuc
  Replies (11) Good night (3730) Bad night (1440)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2571) Bad night (833)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.

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  (256): Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby. http://tfl.nu/s0x6
  Replies (9) Good night (1950) Bad night (746)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.

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  (+64): Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking. http://tfl.nu/52no
  Replies (6) Good night (1992) Bad night (717)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking

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  (862): He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking http://tfl.nu/6gnv
  Replies (15) Good night (2581) Bad night (1041)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....

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  (402): doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question..... http://tfl.nu/jtx7
  Replies (7) Good night (3335) Bad night (740)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me

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  (504): i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me http://tfl.nu/qsky
  Replies (9) Good night (2211) Bad night (678)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?

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  (612): did you just take a shot to penises and friendship? http://tfl.nu/wdge
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (245)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard

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  (847): You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard http://tfl.nu/8q9y
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (288)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.

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  (585): I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis. http://tfl.nu/v0yv
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (526)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.

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  (336): I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now. http://tfl.nu/ru0z
  Replies (6) Good night (108) Bad night (439)

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