Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

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  (313): Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born http://tfl.nu/de9t
  Replies (17) Good night (1703) Bad night (810)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in

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  (217): I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in http://tfl.nu/womw
  Replies (37) Good night (1579) Bad night (2986)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?

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  (214): just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high? http://tfl.nu/2d1b
  Replies (38) Good night (8750) Bad night (710)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking

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  (321): Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking http://tfl.nu/fefy
  Replies (39) Good night (7508) Bad night (1082)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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  (301): Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get http://tfl.nu/ews4
  Replies (64) Good night (5073) Bad night (1562)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.

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  (347): I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there. http://tfl.nu/8ypv
  Replies (24) Good night (4084) Bad night (986)
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  (585): View more from New York

  yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.

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  (585): yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign. http://tfl.nu/yitg
  Replies (10) Good night (3189) Bad night (843)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.

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  (225): she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her. http://tfl.nu/dxlc
  Replies (12) Good night (3728) Bad night (970)
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  (831): View more from California

  The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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  (831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1700) Bad night (1063)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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  (315): im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass. http://tfl.nu/ll9k
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (864)
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  (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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  (524): I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex. http://tfl.nu/y2h0
  Replies (6) Good night (329) Bad night (1590)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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  (647): Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face. http://tfl.nu/pfop
  Replies (1) Good night (274) Bad night (681)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.

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  (406): Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out. http://tfl.nu/4zrh
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (671)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

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  (303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (258)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce

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  (847): I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce http://tfl.nu/nrhe
  Replies (1) Good night (643) Bad night (336)

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