I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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