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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Anal.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town

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• (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Yep

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???

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• (607): View more from New York

  No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.

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