He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
