Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

my computer doesn't work...

(619): View more from California

why?

(419): View more from Ohio

i puked on it last night

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(972): View more from Texas

Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(831): View more from California

She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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(510): View more from California

can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night

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(347): View more from New York

we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.

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