Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (52619) Bad night (2245)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance.. http://tfl.nu/o07j
  Replies (9) Good night (4639) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/qjlc
  Replies (9) Good night (4211) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name http://tfl.nu/f3l4
  Replies (26) Good night (853) Bad night (8658)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me http://tfl.nu/s22y
  Replies (13) Good night (4515) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do http://tfl.nu/metj
  Replies (8) Good night (2138) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5
  Replies (11) Good night (1768) Bad night (3682)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/y5jw
  Replies (8) Good night (2137) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts http://tfl.nu/5nex
  Replies (7) Good night (1641) Bad night (1477)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise. http://tfl.nu/7qvp
  Replies (8) Good night (2293) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married? http://tfl.nu/eg0w
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals http://tfl.nu/zqc1
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah. http://tfl.nu/6xvo
  Replies (0) Good night (702) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper. http://tfl.nu/4og2
  Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Did you cry?

  (518): View more from New York

  I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Did you cry? (518): I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though (480): Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation http://tfl.nu/6o5r
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (464)

Randomize