More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
