Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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