Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
