I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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