your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
