YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Randomize
