I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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