man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize