and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
