Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The feeling are messing with the penis
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
