Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
