bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Everclear isn't food dammit
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
