Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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