I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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