I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
is it fun? or sober?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize