We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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