i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
