i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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