We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
