So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
