At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
