I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize