maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
