listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
