ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
