you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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