I bet he comes in French.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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