how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
