So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
