She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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