ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize